My Walk Of Shame...

...is almost over.  It's so close I can taste it. Any plus size woman knows what I'm talking about.

Here's the scene. You're in the market for some new duds so you go to your favorite clothing store. As you stroll up the side walk, the store front comes into view. You see people wonder in and out of the doors with their arms full of  shopping bags and your heartbeat speeds up. You're excited.  You've been saving your money for weeks because you need new clothes.  And now you get them. This is gonna be awesome. You approach the store front windows and there in front of you is the cutest little pant/top combo you've ever seen and already you're deducting the cost of that outfit from your budget. A smile tugs your mouth and you stride confidently into the store fully expecting to walk out feeling like a super star. 

Then you walk in.  Everything is different when you walk in. There is a visible line inside that store. You got the itty bitties in the front of the store and the fluffy girls are set up in the back. And thus the walk of shame begins. You have to walk through the itty bitty section to get to your section. You feel all the eyes shift in your direction. You are weighed and measured. Everyone in that store notes that you are not thin enough to shop on their side of the store. To dare to browse around in the itty bitty section feels almost like your trespassing. You wonder to yourself what they think of you looking at their clothes and their styles and you slink back to your corner of the store.

Mind games. It's all mind games. Of course there is no enemy lines inside that store, but when you're a big girl you imagine they are. It takes a certain degree of strength to even shop for clothing in public when you're a larger girl. It would be much easier to hide behind the computer monitor and order your clothing online, sight unseen. But I refuse to be beaten so I suck it up and I take my walk of shame.

But not for much longer. Sunday  I purchased my first pair of size fourteen pants in nearly four years. In my particular store of choice (Maurices) the plus size clothing is from sizes 24 (incidently that was my size six months ago) to size 14. My size now. One more size down puts me at a 12 and THAT puts me in the front section of the store.

Yes. My walk of shame is almost over.